I feel like giving up...

A person can have but so much hope and faith that everything is going to be alright.
I have found all the strength to push me through all the hardships this year. From struggling through nursing school, dealing with borderline poverty, dealing with separation, now a divorce, so much crap happened to me in the last year and a half.

I always had the strength to push through. I'd pray and things would be okay. I've been through a lot for a 26 year old. I have 2 kids and right now I'm at a loss for hope. The beauty in this situation is that despite my hopelessness, my kids are extremely happy. You can't tell that their mom is going through it if you look at them.

I have court dates coming up because I have to fight for their father, my soon to be ex husband, to take care of his responsibilities. This is the second time in my life that this man has left me in a fucked up predicament.

It is insanely selfish to just move on with your life with no regards for the people whose lives you pretended to be responsible for.

I'm in a financial bind. I'm blessed to have my mom. I don't know how I could of made it through these last few months. I'm just extremely down right now.

My letter to Hon. Paula Hepner to request a change in Magistrate

May 9^th, 2012

Honorable Paula J. Hepner

330 Jay Street

Brooklyn, NY 11201

Re: Request for  a change in my Support Magistrate. Docket #: F-xxxxx-xx

Dear Honorable Paula J. Hepner,

I am writing this letter with the deepest respect to request for a change in the Support Magistrate for my Child Support/ Spousal Support case.

I recently appeared in court on April 11, 2012 to request support from my husband who left the marriage suddenly in January of 2012. I was filled with anxiety. I never had to step foot in a courtroom and never anticipated that I’d be taking my husband to court.

During my time in the courtroom, I met Support Magistrate Nicholas J. Palos for the first and hopefully last time in my life. Mr. Palos was very rude, cynical and appeared to be very biased towards me.  For the first time since childhood, I was yelled at for an unclear reason. I could not hear Mr. Palos over the giggling and snickering coming from my husband on the other side of the courtroom and when I tried to express that to Mr. Palos, I was screamed at for not letting him finish his ruling.

Any question my spouse was asked by Mr. Palos was very quick and to the point. When those same questions were asked of me, he required extra detail. It was as though he insinuated I was lying. I felt as though I were being treated like a criminal for bringing my husband to court to take care of his responsibilities. An example of this is when Mr. Palos questioned my soon to be ex-husband and I on the careers we currently have. My ex responded that he was an Over-The-Road truck driver with a CDL Class A. Mr. Palos said nothing. When he motioned for me to speak, I stated that I was a Nurse who recently graduated nursing school with my license. Mr. Palos then proceeded to ask me if I had completed my nursing program and had proof of it. He appeared disappointed when I pulled out my nursing license and registration and attempted to submit the copies to the court. His response: “We will take it on the next court date.” Why was my ex not asked for proof of his career as well?

I do not want to cause issues for the Magistrate but, I also have to protect myself and my family. I researched Support Magistrate Nicholas Palos and I was relieved to find out that I am not the only person who has suffered at the hand of this man. His nasty demeanor and cynical tone has been noted by many individuals that have been in his courtroom. From Litigants to Criminal Defense Lawyers, the overall opinion of these individuals is that this man has a biased opinion of women who appear in court for support cases. He also takes advantage of individuals who are in his courtroom especially because there is no one to witness and report the abuse he dishes out.

I have spent my last year and a half being an advocate for my patients as a new nurse. I chose to represent myself in court because I felt that no one could represent my family better than I could. I had a strong conviction that if I could defend total strangers who were in my care that I could handle defending myself. I left court feeling as though I were put to trial.

In conclusion, I am very unsure of how this process works. If you are able to change my magistrate, I am willing to take a significantly later court date just to avoid being in the presence of Mr. Palos. The final decision of the financial livelihood of my children and I rest in this man’s hands and I feel his final ruling may be unfair because he appears biased.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at your convenience regarding this matter. My contact information is listed below. Thank you so very much for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my letter.

                                                                       

                                                                                    Respectfully,

           

                                                                                    Bliss Taylor

                                                                                    xxx-xxx-xxxx

                                                                                   blisstaylor@gmail.com

Just blog...

I am going through ALOT at the age of 26.
To step away from retelling my story and dragging myself and my current new man through the mud, instead of discussing certain things out loud, I am just going to Blog about it.

You can be extremely close to a person and they won't understand fully what you are going through no matter how much you speak on it. Not everything is for everyone to understand.

I just have to let go of things even if they occur and baked fresh weekly for my "delight" and delivered at my door step.

I was so annoyed because my soon to be ex husband's girlfriend sent me a text asking about OUR divorce. I politely let her know she needs to ask him. I don't get why these people wont leave me the fuck alone.

I dont harrass them, I dont text people with stupidity....yet, they always fimd a way to harrass me.

I am getting to a point in my relationship where I need more support but, I cant force that onto a man I just met. At least my ex has history with his gf...they have been fucking around for about 3 years.

My current life situation and my new man just don't mesh well. I feel like its too much, too soon. I feel like my sitautation is a burden.

So from my mind to this blog,
I won't speak on it again.

I have court dates and shit coming up and I just feel like I am in the battle of my life ALONE.
I don't want my burden to become his burden, so it is something I guess I'm gonna have to just do alone.
I am not even going to bring up court dates or anything of the sort.

What I'm afraid of is that I'll take on so much on my own that I'll end up developing that Mega Bitch, Super Independent shit again. I guess at that point, it wont fully be my fault though.

I need a prayer,

Ms. Bliss

Cheaters...

Before you read this: There are links at the bottom of this post that can help people who have deal with being cheated on. The Oprah reference can help with EVERY facet of life. Good luck and happy reading.

These are the interesting things I find when I am cruising on Facebook. I have a tendency to live in my head. If I am going through a particular struggle, I will truly believe that NO ONE else in the world could possibly be going through the same situation. Then, I stumbled upon this page on FB called, "Cheated on, Betrayed and Learning to Forgive."

I literally was in shock that people actually admitted these things out loud. I was cheated on for a few years, I was betrayed, I learned to forgive previously but, currently, I see no reason to forgive him now because I am no longer with him BY CHOICE. (just had to add that)

After speaking to a close friend of mine and seeing the pain she was going through after breaking up with an ex, I realized that I was in the same predicament but, I got the better end of the stick. Yea, I was cheated on...but, the way I look at it is, I moved on.

I started dating a new man who changed my life and my perspective on loving men. Prior to my new man, I thought all men were slothy monsters. I swore there were no good guys around, so I planned to be single after an "in-house separation" with my husband. (That term means we lived in the same home but were separated. I know some people don't believe this is possible but, I promise you all and God that absolutely NOTHING went on between my husband and I during this "in house separation". My ass hurt so bad from sleeping on the couch. Yes, I SLEPT ON THE COUCH. When a woman is fed up...she WILL DO THAT!

There is life after being cheated on and betrayed. Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do. Sometimes people have valid reasons for why they cheat. They may have felt inadequate or unhappy in their relationship. They may have felt that their spouse or partner was cheating on them, so they went and did the same. Some folks just want to see how many people they can sleep with before their partner catches on! The whole cheating story goes back to one thing: COMMUNICATION.

If your partner has no idea that you are unhappy and you go out there and cheat on them. That's not fair!
If your partner has no idea that you are feelings inadequate and you go out there and cheat...STILL NOT FAIR!

If you don't open up and be honest about your feelings in a relationship, no matter what occurs, if you do cheat and get caught....YOU DESERVE FOR THAT PERSON TO LEAVE YOU WITH NO SECOND CHANCES.

MY STORY:

I cheated once. I let my spouse at the time know that I was unhappy. I came clean and let him know everything. I told him I was sorry. It was very hard for me to break away from the affair I was having because it was more fulfilling than the fake marriage I was in. My spouse at the time disliked the fact that I was honest.

Things went wrong when he spent years pretending that we were ok. We communicated, we did family trips, we got past it....or so I thought.

Long story short, he cheated with not 1, not 2 but 6 other women that I KNOW OF in a 3 year period.

I FORGAVE HIM FOR EVERY SINGLE WOMAN THAT I KNOW HE CHEATED WITH.


After a few years, the 6th one just kept popping up. After our 4mth in house separation, I told him he had to leave. I had already moved on with my life with my new man. His 6th woman kept popping up all over the place but, he continued to DENY, DENY, DENY. I was tired of the drama.

Ffwd to present day:

He is miserable without me.
I am extremely happy without him.

There is no right and wrong in this story. What I'm trying to say is...WE BOTH WERE WRONG. We both did things that were WRONG. No matter how wrong I was though, I made sure that I was honest. It may have taken me time to tell him the truth but, I cant lay down next to someone every night knowing that I'm hurting them and I expect for them to do the same with me.

I say all this to say, LIFE GOES ON.
LOVE GOES ON.

FORGIVE, FORGET OR LIFE IS YOURS TO REGRET!

Hugs and Kisses,

Ms. Bliss

And for those of you who are truly, truly struggling. This page on FB seems very positive:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cheated-on-Betrayed-and-Learning-to-Forgive/126723320781362
Also, if you get a chance, Google: Oprah's Lifeclass. It truly helps people move on with every avenue of their life. Whether it is dealing with a former cheating spouse or a sister who makes you feel insignificant.

Peace.

My complaint letter against Magistrate Nicholas Palos

                                                                                                                        May 7, 2012

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Bliss Taylor. I am a very well spoken Nurse and mother of 2 beautiful girls. Unfortunately, I have recently separated from my husband, Alexander Harris, and had to petition a child support case against him. Having never gone through anything in the New York City Courts system, I was extremely filled with anxiety anticipating my first day in court.

Two minutes into my court hearing, I realized that the magistrate was very snappy. Being a Nurse, I tend to always look at every individual holistically and I automatically assumed that Mr. Nicholas Palos was simply having a bad day. I tried to ignore his snide remarks and condescending demeanor but, as the days went on after my court date, I realized that there was something more to Mr. Nicholas Palos’ arrogance.

In court, I was yelled at for not letting Mr. Nicholas Palos finish his statement. The problem is, I couldn’t hear the magistrate over the disrespectful giggles of my soon to be ex-husband on the other side of the court room. I attempted to let Mr. Nicholas Palos know this and he assumed that I was cutting him off when in actuality; Mr. Palos failed to listen to me and never reprimanded my ex for being disrespectful in his courtroom.

Secondly, Mr. Nicholas Palos made his deliberations which were fair, based on the fact that my soon to be ex husband has a very low income. When I was asked to speak on support related matters, Palos felt the need to make snide remarks against me in a very cynical and disrespectful tone. He insinuated that I allowed my husband to file taxes without listing his income received from his security company. I proceeded to explain to Mr. Palos that I am not responsible for what my husband files on taxes when I am not present.  I began to feel as though Mr. Palos had an irrational vendetta against me for taking my husband to court for child support.

When the question arose regarding what careers my ex husband and I currently have, my ex responded that he was an Over-The-Road truck driver with a CDL Class A. Mr. Palos said nothing. When he motioned for me to speak, I stated that I was a Nurse who recently graduated nursing school with my license. Mr. Palos then proceeded to ask me if I had completed my nursing program and had proof of it. He appeared disappointed when I pulled out my nursing license and registration and attempted to submit the copies to the court. His response: “We will take it on the next court date.” Why was my ex not asked for proof of his career as well?

I continued to do more research on Mr. Nicholas Palos using Google and other resources. I was NOT surprised to find out that this man has a very, very low rating amongst his peers in the New York City Court System. TheRobingRoom.com rates Palos at a sad 1.3 out of 10! Words such as misogynistic, belligerent and incompetent are words found on the internet used to describe this poor excuse for a magistrate.

Upon my research, I have spoken to a few other women who have had similar issues with Nicholas Palos.  Luckily, some of his previous cases that were made public have harsh rulings against the mother’s who fail to take care of their children and the father’s who have custody of those children.

In my honest opinion, as long as this magistrate has power over the lives of innocent mothers and the livelihood of their children, THERE WILL BE NO JUSTICE FOR THOSE INDIVIDUALS.  However, I guarantee that there will be  a trail of wasted time and adjourned court dates. This man takes full advantage of the fact that once you enter his court room, there is no one there to witness his abuse. He knows the court officer and court clerk cannot be witnesses for the people he abuses in court. And God help you if you show up to court with no lawyer, the abuse intensifies! He is a bully in every sense of the word.

This concludes my complaint letter. I have been informed by an inside source that Mr. Nicholas Palos has a vast amount of complaint letters in his name and they are usually ignored. I’m sending this letter to make the powers that be aware that his abuse has not stopped. Please do not hesitate to contact me regarding this matter.

                                                                                                            Respectfully,

                                                                                                            Bliss Taylor

                                                                                                            BlissTaylor@gmail.com

                                                                                                            xxx-xxx-xxxx

If you have issues with a magistrate or judge in NYC, visit: http://www.scjc.state.ny.us/General.Information/complaintform.htm

If you'd like to judge a magistrate or judge, visit:

www.therobingroom.com

JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED.

Mediators, Denial and Pride...Oh my!

SO, I decided to give it ONE LAST ATTEMPT.

I spoke to Mr. Harris regarding the use of a mediator to make the child support, spousal support and child custody case go smoother. I told him he could choose the mediator, I'd pay for it.

This man is sooooooo mad that I have moved on with my life that he can't even see when I am doing him a favor. All he can focus on is not paying spousal support. I said, Ok fine. It seems even that he doesn't care about. He just is infuriated that I didn't take him back.

He told me that I could of made this work by showing him that I wanted him.

*Insert awkward long pause*

Is he serious?

I'm sorry that I didn't want a man that I had to kick out of my house because he was caught cheating AGAIN in Oct. October 18th 2011 to be exact. I sat there like a fool thinking he wasnt cheating and found out the truth on March 18th, 2012 that in fact, he had spent the last 3 years cheating with a woman whom once I found out about he in July 2009, I actually forgave him for!!!!

So sorry that I didn't want trash in my front yard.

He is SO infuriated that I am happy that he is letting Pride consume him.

It makes my life easier. I tried to do something to help our whole family. I tried to use the mediator to make this transition smooth as eggs BUT, nooooo. He lets his pride get in the way.

God will show him the way. One day.

I realize that I should of known better. I wanted to kick myself because truthfully, I know exactly what type of monster I am dealing with but, I believe I had a moment of DENIAL.

I led myself to believe that this man may have changed now that he is in this new, " beautiful" relationship. Apparently, (and these are his words, not mine) HE IS NOT HAPPY WITH OLABISI CUMMINGS. A part of me feels bad for him but, the other side of me is laughing because if he had stayed true to me, he wouldnt be in a false relationship with her. I kicked him out of my life and he felt that he had to go pretend elsewhere. It didn't take long for the texts filled with "I miss you" and the "I will forever be yours" started flowing in.

I can't even be flattered.

I guess the moral in this story is: If you love someone, show them. If they hurt you, tell them. If you want them, lay the love on them so thick that they KNOW they are wanted.

And if you don't....

Well,

BE PREPARED TO LOSE THEM (possibly forever).

Hugs and Kisses,

Ms. Bliss.

I really know what it means to be stressed out, stressed out...

Did some grocery shopping today.

Then, I came home to a bag of troubles and headaches.

I have to file my divorce ASAP.
I believe I need to make my message echo loud and clear that I am no longer the wife of this man whom I once loved.

I have to truly isolate myself from him in a way that speaks more volumes than it does right now.

I've already severed my ties with his family. No point in staying around people who turn their back on you at the drop of a dime.

The man was wrong. point blank.

He did things so sneaky and snide and low down that I will NEVER let him back into my space ever again.

I just wish a couple thousand dollars would drop in my lap right now.
Now that I've awoken from that dream, I am going to just weigh my options.

It's either I deal with We The People to take care of my divorce or go to DivorceCenter. Either way, I will end up paying about 1,000 dollars.

I thought about going to my local City Clerk office and requesting a divorce packet. I'm curious to know if I can handle all the legalese vebiage.

Pray for me.

Hugs and Kisses,

Ms. Bliss Taylor. Good-bye to the last name Harris forever! (soon) -___-

Cheers to the freakin' weekend...

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

SEVERE Pain...

This pain is worse than labor.

I feel like I am having a contraction every 2 minutes but, the problem is that I AM NOT PREGNANT!

PMS sucks.

My cycle is all fucked up.

My body must be adjusting to all this new sex I have been having for the last couple of months.

:o)

My man is theeee best!!! I pray he never changes and if he does, it should be a change for the better.

I just don't get it...

So, my children's father has been taken for child support by me.
Because his income sucks, he only pays 50 dollars a month for BOTH OUR CHILDREN.
The spousal support got denied because according to judge Nicholass Palos, "That would place the respondent in poverty..." He doesn't buy groceries for the children, he barely see's them...
BUT....

he was able to buy my 6 year old a Kindle Fire.

Where the fuck are your priorities?!

I guess this is the way people handle things when they just don't know what to do anymore.

Sometimes I feel bad for the man.

Imagine this....

For the last 13 years, you had a woman who stood by you NO MATTER WHAT you did to her. Finally, she gives up on you and moves on with her life. You can't take it because you knew that you were able to do so much crap in the past and get away with it and you can't fathom HOW she could possibly be moving on with her life. Not only do you lose unlimited access to the woman you once called your legally wedded wife, you also lose unlimited access to your beautiful children.

Just like that ....

In a flash....

the love has died.

He will be ok.

Life goes on and love goes on without you.

It has been a while...

The last time I came onto Blogger was when I was ordered by my NOW ex husband to delete my explicit blogs. He couldn't understand that writing is an art to me and that I write to set free myself from our horrible relationship. I kicked him out in January, so...no more of that oppression bullshit.

I'm free, I'm back, my heart is mine again. I'm happy! I'm in love FOR REAL this time. I'm no longer oppressed. Happy mommy makes for happy babies and my children are def. reaping the benefits of my happiness. God is good. I miss my old blog. I had SO much important info there but,

I ain't scared to start again.

Starting over seems to be the story of my new life.

My old relationship was 13 years long. It started off good, ended horribly bad.
My start over relationship is BLISS.

When time and children permit, I will be posting more about EVERYTHING.

Hugs and Kisses,

Love,
Ms. Bliss.